Today, sitting with my husband in the Mountain Café in Kintamani, Bali, taking a break on our journey to Ubud, we paused to soak in the breathtaking view of the volcano, Mt. Batur, and the serene lake below.

As we cuddled and enjoyed the beautiful moment while awaiting our food, something caught my attention. Around us, our fellow guests seemed absorbed not in the stunning natural scenery or in meaningful conversation with each other but in their phones—taking selfies or scrolling through endless digital distractions. It was a familiar scene, one you’ve likely witnessed countless times. It struck me deeply: what we truly need most right now as human beings is the ability to become genuinely present and connected with each other.

Indeed, developing skills in how to be a likable and connected human being has never been more crucial. Have you ever noticed someone who effortlessly radiates warmth and instantly transforms the atmosphere of any room they enter? These individuals possess a unique quality—they naturally make others feel seen, valued, and deeply heard. Yet, their magnetism isn’t mere chance; it’s the result of consciously nurturing certain qualities and habits that foster genuine connection and heartfelt relationships.

If your vision is to cultivate deeper bonds and become someone others genuinely cherish, here are nine transformative qualities you can begin to embrace in your daily life:

1. 1. Become an Active Listener: Listening deeply is an act of generosity that fosters genuine connections. People feel profoundly valued when their words are heard and understood.

• • Give others your undivided attention—set aside distractions.

• • Reflect and clarify what you’ve heard: “What I’m hearing you say is…”

• • Ask meaningful questions that show you’re truly engaged.

Soulful Tip: Next time you’re in a conversation, shift your intention entirely toward understanding rather than formulating your response. You might be amazed at how richly your relationships blossom.

2. 2. Celebrate Others’ Joy and Success Wholeheartedly: rejoicing in someone else’s accomplishments strengthens your bonds and invites positivity into your life.

• • Express enthusiastic joy: “That’s wonderful! Tell me more!”

• • Recognize their effort and commitment, not only the result.

• • Release comparisons or subtle competition.

Soulful Tip: Create a habit of sending heartfelt congratulations whenever someone achieves something special—it amplifies positivity for both of you.

3. 3. Gracefully Acknowledge Your Mistakes Humility carries immense power. Embracing your imperfections openly and with grace makes you relatable and respected.

• • Replace defensiveness with gentle honesty: “You’re right, I could have handled that differently.”

• • Offer sincere apologies without excuses when appropriate.

• • Embrace feedback as an opportunity for growth, not criticism.

Soulful Tip: Practice acknowledging small mistakes openly, and watch how authenticity enriches your connections.

4. 4. Cultivate a Positive Outlook Radiating positivity naturally draws people toward your presence. This doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges but actively choosing optimism.

• • Begin each day by listing three things for which you’re grateful.

• • Approach challenges as invitations to learn and evolve.

• • Surround yourself with uplifting influences and companions.

Soulful Tip: Commit to giving at least one sincere compliment daily—it shifts your focus toward appreciation and joy.

5. 5. Offer Kindness in Everyday Actions True likability is rooted in the gentle, consistent acts of kindness we offer daily.

• • Smile warmly, hold doors open, and acknowledge those around you.

• • Remember meaningful details about others and check in regularly.

• • Provide help without expecting something in return.

Soulful Tip: Reflect each evening on at least one small kindness you’ve extended. Soon, kindness will become a natural expression of who you are.

6. 6. Be Dependable and Respectful of Time Reliability builds trust and conveys respect and care.

• • Honor your commitments and follow through consistently.

• • Set clear expectations, avoiding over-promising.

• • Show respect by arriving on time.

Soulful Tip: Adopt the “two-minute rule.”: If a task can be completed quickly, such as replying to a message, do it immediately.

7. 7. Embrace an Open Mind and a Non-Judgmental Heart. Likable individuals offer emotional safety through acceptance and openness.

• • Respond to differences with curiosity instead of judgment.

• • Wonder inwardly: “What experiences might have shaped this perspective?”

• • Provide compassionate support rather than unsolicited advice.

Soulful Tip: When encountering differing views, gently inquire, “That’s interesting—what led you to this perspective?”

8. 8. Make Others Feel Deeply Valued Likability thrives when others feel genuinely important in your presence.

• • Use people’s names thoughtfully in conversations.

• • Show an authentic interest in others’ passions and dreams.

• • Allow others the space to shine, celebrating their stories.

Soulful Tip: At your next gathering, consciously make at least three individuals feel truly seen. Notice how beautifully they blossom under your attention.

9. 9. Nurture Humor and Playfulness Humor and playfulness open hearts and create shared joy.

• • Gently laugh at your own missteps and imperfections.

• • See the humorous side of everyday life.

• • Create joy without diminishing others.

Soulful Tip: Infuse your daily routine with playfulness, whether it’s sharing a funny anecdote or simply dancing in the kitchen.

Final Thoughts and What Next?

Being truly alive and present is what makes us genuinely likable. This means training our energy body to stay deeply present, cultivating our attention, and mastering both our inner and outer consciousness.

What truly matters is bringing the fullness of your essence into each moment. By doing this, you can hear more, see more, understand more, and love more profoundly. Additionally, you’ll find yourself nurtured by the higher energies available in the present moment rather than drained by mundane distractions.

If you’re inspired to cultivate this depth of presence and master the meditative mind, join my online academy at IlonaSelke.Online.

Here, you’ll learn transformative practices that enable you to solve problems creatively, envision fulfillment clearly, and manifest meaningful successes with joy and ease.

Ilona Selke Online Academy